Ever since I could remember, I’ve had a little..ehem.. Ok, maybe a BIG thing for older men. I’m not exactly sure how this fixation development, but I remember watching Melrose Place in seventh grade, and all of the sudden Peter Burns (aka Jack Wagner) seemed oh so mighty fine.
He was sexy! He was zesty! And I was convinced that I (and not that slutty bitch Amanda) deserved to have him!
Very shortly after, with puberty in full swing, I became a bit obsessed with all the silver foxes around me—shamelessly indiscriminately.
Despite having a very lovely boyfriend my age own age, I used to day dream about running off to a rebellious Hassidic Jewish community with one of my junior high teachers who happened to be a Rabbi; holding Michael Gorbachev’s hand as a doctor removed his oddly shaped birthmark; and being the Monica Lewinsky in Bill Clinton’s life (but less chubby, and a lot more savvy… I would have NEVER confided to Linda about the affair. Honestly Monica! Way to lose your man the Presidency!)
As I began to reflect on my “old man” crushes throughout the years, I started noticing a very distinct pattern developing in the “type” of silver fox that I was into.
I almost always crushed on figures of authority. My little obsessions were exclusively men of status and power. There was something truly sexy about an older man that was able to command a presence—a man that knew how to get people to stop and listen.
And it never had anything to do with money… I crushed on everything from $40K a year high school teachers, to multi million dollar actors.
It was quite a range for a fifteen year old…
But you know, they all had that “special something” in common. They were smart, accomplished and successful. They were funny, charismatic and charming. Their flaws made them human, but their ability to teach and to lead made them flawless.
All were unique. All had pizazz. All had that little quality many men think they have but actually don’t…
It’s something indefinable --a certain je nais se quoi…
And of course, my developing taste led me to see silver hotness where the general population missed it. George Clooney and Sean Connery alone never did it for me. I seemed to fall for the likes of Bill Clinton (my one and only... you’ll here more about him later) and Thomas Jefferson (I’ll explain this to you as well).
These sexy beasts -- beasts being the appropriate term here-- helped me define a single rule… a sole doctrine of sorts that all silver foxes must abide by.
And here it is: A true silver fox must always be a triple threat: Charismatic, Powerful, and Smart.
To clarify further, “hot” as that term stands by itself, is NEVER enough.
All three components are absolutely needed to make old man perfection.
Why you ask? Well, because Chicken Soup would not be called Chicken Soup without the Chicken! And if you want “hot” by itself, well frankly you’re reading the wrong blog. Because a true silver fox lover has more complicated tastes, desiring a concoction that creates a perfect meddle of sex and sophistication.
Ahhhhhhhhh... but I know what you’re about to ask:
Silver Fox Expert… what about some of the younger guys out there that have all of these qualities… why can’t we add them to the list?
The answer is very simple… they just haven’t had enough time to ripen before the world. We can’t be sure how they turn out!
Still doubt me? Google “Mel Gibson Arrest” for a reference to how things can go wrong. Some of them seem to be on the right path, and then something terrible happens. The meal overcooks and promising men turn into total douche bags.
But on the flip side, some of these younger ones might be morons during their adolescence, unexpectedly growing into absolutely beautiful, fur coat worthy Silver Foxes as they peak in adulthood (please see Robert Downey Jr. for reference here).
Finally, with all this in mind, we’re ready to proceed with the ultimate Silver Fox exploration…
To all the women (and men) out there that love a touch of sophistication, a dab of accomplishment and a sprinkle of gray---Welcome!
I look forward to going on this journey with you!
Please feel free to comment and submit suggestions of your favorite Foxes, and don’t forget to a share this blog with friends of similar complicated palates.
Enjoy!
Yours truly,
Silver Fox Expert
